THE Multi-tool
A time honored tradition of abortion
After the unsupreme court made laws against all of us birthing people, we looked for the solution to the shortage of THE Multi-tool. With shortages of nonessentials like meat, fuel and power, we must have THE Multi-tool at this unprecedented time. People have disparaged THE Multi-tool for years, referring to it a mere wire hanger, but today when we need it the most; THE Multi-tool is here for all of us. These malicious and evil dictators will not stop us from our abortions.
Industry expert Dan Fulkenberry says.” We are experiencing over whelming demand for THE Multi-tools at this time.” It goes without saying that this is all due to Putin, first getting Trump elected and more recently, Putin charging us all taxes and supply chain stuff and other big words, but it does matter now. The existential whoseywhatsit control, come you know!
So just throw your clothes on the floor. We need these Multi-tools in the hands of young birthing people, for emergence abortions. Dan went on to say; “we are working on a plan to place these Multi-tools in glass cases in all public birthing people restrooms to break encase of emergence, next to the case holding the duct tape.”
THE Multi-tool has been around for generations. Good for abortions, branding your fellow gang members and hoes, also to beat the children you accidentally had.
We also have spoken to some aborted people thru a Ouija board and they all say they don’t want to live in this stupid of a place anyway.
Written by; Paul Cottontail
Editor’s note: we apologize to anyone actually named Dan Fulkenberry and people who believe in Ouija boards, we have done zero research on any of this and present it here, as fact. As for these wire hangers, we wish some of you would fashion them into a cross, heat it to red hot and place it inverted on your forehead, so we know to steer clear of you, but the blue and pink hair works too. Also we don’t have editors.